Some weeks ago, I published on my blog, a caricature of an imaginary Anglophone Cameroonian parent who was boasting of having children in Europe and America on the one hand, and an imaginary Francophone Cameroonian parent who was boasting of having sent his own children in professional schools within Cameroon. I did not draw any conclusions neither did I make any inferences from that account. I left it open.

This difference in approach from the two parents is really cause for concern. Usually, the Anglophone parent will borrow and owe heavily to send his or her child overseas. The underlying reason usually given is that life out there is better than at home. Another reason is that parents want to do to their children what other parents have done to their own children.

Then, of course, there is pressure from the child in question as well. But strictly speaking, is going abroad really better? Before I proceed, I must point out that when I refer to Cameroonians in the Diaspora, I include myself because, after all, I spent twenty years or so in Europe – basically in France and later, Britain.

What such Cameroonians do not know –and perhaps do not want to know – is that life overseas is very hard. In fact, it is harsh. Those who live there basically live from hand to mouth and spend their time paying bills. Yet, in order to survive, one must find a job of some kind. Getting one at all is a problem, let alone a “good” one.

That is why if you are back home in Cameroon and ask a relative overseas to send you fifty thousand francs – for instance – as a matter of urgency, in the week that follows, the chances are that most of them may not be able to do so. And what`s more, they`ll feel too embarrassed to tell you the truth. They`ll slip into silence.

They`ll avoid you. When you call or write they won`t respond. It`s not that they`re spiting you. It`s just that life out there is tough. Every single dime they earn is already ear-marked for something specific and they can`t pinch here and there to give you. How about themselves and their own needs?

Unfortunately, most young people who want to travel to those lands will not listen to advice. That is why parents will go to unthinkable lengths to find money and send their children overseas. Despite the heavy expenditure involved, parents still continue to “subsidize” the child who has gone “over” because crossing the border has never been a guarantee for finding something to do.

Listen to this conversation between a Francophone parent and an Anglophone parent. Both are friends and civil servants in Cameroon. Their two sons just left a GBHS with passes at the GCE Advanced Level. This conversation took place at the beginning of September.

Francophone parent: “My friend, so where are you sending your son when the school year begins in October?” Anglophone parent: “I want him to go to the States” Francophone parent: “The States? Why the States?” Anglophone parent: “His brother is already there and I believe it`s better out there than in this country” Francophone parent: “That must cost you quiet a fortune” Anglophone parent:”Yes. It`s three million Francs CFA, including the flight ticket. There is an NGO here which is sending him over.”. Francophone parent: “When he gets there, what shall he be doing?” Anglophone parent: “Well, his brother will take over. His brother has been there for five years although I really don`t know what job he is doing. By the way, what plans do you have for your own son?” Francophone parent: “I am sending him to one of the professional schools here in Cameroon. The ENS, ENAM or EMIA” Anglophone parent: “Why?” Francophone parent: “Those are good schools and I know that when he finishes from there, the state will give him a job. He will earn a living of his own and perhaps even help the rest of the family” Anglophone parent: “How will you get him a place in those schools when the country is so corrupt?” Francophone parent: “Well, obviously, he will write the competitive exam. In addition, I have budgeted a million francs which I will use to press buttons.” Anglophone parent: “No, that`s bribery and corruption! It`s unethical! It`s unacceptable!” Francophone parent: “That may be so. But it`s much cheaper than the three million you are spending to send your own son to America. Yet my son is sure of a school and a job after that. Yours is unsure of a school and unsure of a job in America.

And in any case, don`t you know the three million you are paying is also a bribe? If it isn`t, why does the NGO not just sponsor his trip and find him a job without you paying anything? After all, they are a non-profit making organization. In any case, by the time your son returns from America – if at all he returns – mine will already be working and earning good money. He will be settled and respected in society. Yours will be a total stranger in his own country and will find himself answering my son, `yes sir`.”