Before last Friday, there was news on the airwaves that three regime ministers: Andre Mama Fouda; minister of public health, Luc Magloire Mbarga Atangana; minister of trade, and Emmanuel Bonde; minister of mines, industries and technological development, were going to sign a joint convention in relation to the non-certified whisky wahala.

In fact, I was very glad on hearing the government move, but my cheerfulness was short-lived when on D-Day, Biya’s men rather gave producers and importers of the usually cheap and poisonous whisky, another 24-month license to ‘kill’ those who find solace in the brand.

In their right consciences, the ministers pin-pointed the exceedingly high and injurious effects related to undue consumption of alcohol and the explosion of whiskies of poor quality filled in unconventional packages (plastic sachets) across the national territory, yet they gave ample time for the producers and importers of the ‘slow poison’ to clear their stocks.

Instead of invading the illegal “La Cle du Chateau” in various towns across Cameroon to wade off the prevailing iniquity, they are looking forward for the producers to package their products in containers that must be manufactured with materials without danger and suitable for the purpose for which they are intended.

Was this action different from what Graham Greene in his book, The Heart of the Matter described as: “There was a tacit understanding between them that 'liquor helped'; growing more miserable with every glass one hoped for the moment of relief”?

The public health boss, alongside his counterparts of trade and industries told the manufacturers of illicit whisky that they must brew the ‘slow poison’ in conformity with the standards outlined in NC 210: 2014-48 on the production of spirituous beverages, whatever that means!

After the economic crisis in the 1980s and the 1993 salary slash for civil servants, caused by the New Deal government, the production of relatively cheap and lethal alcohol to respond to the frustrations of an impoverished citizenry grew into a money-spinning, perilous and deadly way of life.

Although potentially lethal, wildly distilled drinks continue with the tolerance of government to find a ready market among underprivileged Cameroonians who cannot afford conventional brews.

I once overheard an alcohol-ridden boozer acknowledging that unrefined whisky is risky but it makes him frisky. Out of curiosity, I sort to know why he prefers non-certified whisky and he retorted: “With just 50FCFA or 100FCFA, I can get a sachet of whisky or a ‘short’ of ‘tree killer’ to put body and soul together.” I wonder whether the two entities were being put together or asunder!

The above observation jostled me to side with Patton Oswalt who posited about a decade ago in his Zombie Spaceship Wasteland that: “Cheap liquor is a magic portion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before killing you.”

Government seems to have easily forgotten that in November and December 1997, about 20 people died in Yaounde after drinking ‘Odontol’, which is the order of the day in the Centre, South, East and Littoral regions.

In Maroua, several also reportedly died of excess in-take of a local liquor commonly known as ‘bili-bili.’ That was not an isolated case. Others have been recorded in certain areas over time, though not alarming as the Yaounde Odontol and Maroua bili-bili suicide.

Following the Yaounde tragedy, government prohibited the distilling and consumption of the drink, alongside other doubtful concoctions. But not too long and as usual, the authorities went into overdue slumber.

Various institutions, sound-minded persons and God-fearing preachers and consumer associations have since 2010 attracted the attention of public authorities to the national evil.

At some point in time, some civil administrators in their respective jurisdictions barked, but did not bite and the business of illicit gins and whiskies simply moved underground and continued to thrive.

If the ministers are really sincere in their efforts to put an end to non-certified whisky, then it must be now and not 2016, no matter whose ox is gored. Customs officials should also come on board to check the black market whisky in Jabane, in the Bakassi peninsular.

Time is of the essence. May God be our helper!